It has been a while

With the holidays and having my husbands family in town, as well as working getting on here wasn't easy!!! I have changed the title to include all things kids, I feel like talking about more than disipline might help more people and let them know that this blog is here to help everyone. I will be trying to keep up with this a little better then I have!!!!!!!

My first request

As per my first request I will go further into the no negotiating part of raising my children. From day one we have done no negotiating what we say goes and that’s how it is. If I say no chocolate or candy that’s exactly what I mean, not only for my husband and I but family as well, no one changes our mind. A better example is meal time I know how much each of my children is capable of eating I don’t give them an amount I know they can’t finish. So if during breakfast/lunch my 3 year old tells me “I am done” and she still has food left on her plate I kindly remind her no snacks no nothing till lunch/dinner depending on the meal. Some of the time about an hour to 3o min prior to lunch/dinner I get the im hungry could I have something to eat? The answer every time is no. I will remind her why by asking “well did you finish your lunch/dinner?” This helps to remind her that I told her before she got down that there would be nothing until the next meal. Another thing that goes along with this is we have set times that we eat normally it will vary about 20/30 min one way or another but thing to drastic, I never move this time according to them as far as eating early because they didn’t finish a meal. They will either learn to eat the food when it’s made for them or figure out that we are not short order cooks. This goes along with everything not just food, if I give my children a task and say if you do this then we can do this, and if what they are supposed to do isn’t done we aren’t doing anything. It isn’t being a mean parent its setting them up for success. I will add more to this sometime this week as I have tons of no negotiating scenarios.

 I appreciate the comments and would love more suggestions as to what would help people out. Remember this is what my husband and I choose to do it may not be right for you and your children, but those that are around my children will follow the rules we set for our children. That is another topic and I am sure we will get to it soon.!!!!!

Going to the park

So I have to say how happy I was to know there is another mom like me out there. We were at the park on Sunday the girls playing having a good time. This mom and her two boys show up one is maybe two and the other around four seemed like good kids. Things went well for about 15 min, then the older boy went to slide down a slide, he figured it would be a good idea to hang is leg over the side. His mom told him not to do that because he would fall and if he didn't correct it they would go home. Sure enough he went down the way she told him not to. Let me tell you how pumped I was to actually see her start to collect their things and stick to her guns. She was very sturn even as the little boy started to have a melt down. I commend parents who aren't affraid to discipline their children in public, there is nothing wrong with keeping them in line and I know other people appreciate it as well.
I can think of a few things that I would have done differently. How about you what would you have done if you were in this situation with your child?

The first thing that I learned very early in the process of parenting is that no matter how cute they are, you need to stick with what you say and mean it. This doesn't apply for just the child, also anyone that comes along and wants to change things. Cassidy is very sure of who she can get away with things with, and so are we. We first set rules and would add to them as she got older we tried to set rules that would grow with her, this way we didn't have to change things. You have to stick with what your doing and be consistant. I know that they have their way of putting on the charm and being really cute, I to have been tricked many times by that face. But you have to remember that everything that we do as parents from day one paves the way, making those few exceptions could start you back at square one and it could take weeks or months to get back to where you were. Believe me I should know we have had to do it a few times and not because we got her off track. Not only does it hurt the child to get them off track but it also hurts the parents. It isn't always easy to get everyone to follow your rules but you have to try, I would just say try your best and let those who disrespect your wishes know it is not acceptable for them to interfear.

OK SO Our first lesson!!!

So I said my girls were perfect and I was sooooo kidding. Cassidy my oldest had us around her finger so tight when she came home. She was born very early so when we got to take her home after a month and 10 day in the NICU the first night was crazy. I had to have a C section so I wasn't really ready to be getting up at every cry and whimper, but lucky for my hubby he was LOL. That night she had to have gotten him out of bed more than a dozen times, only to find out she was still sleeping. WTF she was the loudest baby I have ever heard, and I was the second oldest of tons of cousins so I had my fair share of babies and their noises. After the first few nights were couldn't take it, thats right out 1 1/2 month old was kicked out of our room. We stuck her just outside of our bedroom door in her little bassenet so we could still hear her when it was time for her to eat. We knew that she knew that she had us and we would be in a lot of trouble. I was very scared that Cassidy wouldn't develop the way she should as I had her at 29 weeks and 5 days, born at 2lbs 7oz. I would read every book I could find and I took everything that her development specialist said to heart. I was un sure how I felt about a stranger coming in and telling me how I should do this and that with my baby, but I very quickly came to respect Mrs. Kim, Cassidy's DS. People would always assume that we would treat Cassidy like glass because of how little she was but the best advice I got from Mrs. Kim was that she was just like any other baby just small. This would start the discipline of Ms Cassidy!!!

The Reason

I started this blog because I have heard from family, friends, and random people over the past 3 years WOW how do you get them to act like that. Thats right my girls are perfect!!! No not really but they are close. They are well mannered and well trained children, maybe I got lucky and the next will be evil but for now we are happy with the way we have raised our children. Due to the comments and positive feed back I have been getting about my parenting I figured why not share what I do with others. Maybe help out a worn out stressed out new mom, or a seasoned mom who just needs a new idea.

To get things going ill be explaining the last 3 1/2 years of my oldests life and the last 14 months of my youngest. Once that is done ill be going day by day maybe week to week depending on the flow of things just to get it out there how I do things. I am always open to hear how things could be done differently as I have taken advice a few times from a very strong mother of one great 7 year old. Everyone has bumps along the way and some justs need advice, or wants to share as a future learning experiance!!!!!